Wellbeing

What It’s Like to Get Your Septum Pierced

I got my septum pierced about a year ago, but the process of decision-making before and healing after took months and months. Listen, a septum piercing involves poking a needle through the middle of your nose holes – it’s intense!

I freaking love my piercing and am so glad I did it, but in case you are not 100% sure if it’s for you, here are some things I learned from the process.

1. Try on the look first.
Even though I already had one of my nostrils pierced (wow how glamorous does THAT sound?), I teetered back and forth about whether I wanted more jewelry in that area. I mean,  I didn’t want to end up looking like a blinged-out Rudolph. Actually, now that I’m saying it, maybe that’s the exact aesthetic I’m usually going for, but I just wanted to be VERY SURE before letting someone put another hole in my face.

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So I wore fake septum jewelry for a few months! Amazon has some great options (like this and this and this) that allowed me to test out life as a fabulous bull. These hoops do not stay in super well (I sneezed quite a few out DURING IMPORTANT MEETINGS), but they helped me see how the piercing fit in with my everyday looks and also prepared me for how people would react to the new addition. You’d be surprised how many folks went out of their way to tell me they didn’t like it – even strangers! But, luckily, I also realized I don’t give a fart about what other people think, and if I want to be a shiny human Rudolph, that’s my choice thankyouverymuch.

For the record, I’ve also “tried on” tattoos I’ve thought about getting by drawing them on in Sharpie for a few weeks, and testing those convinced me I may never get a tattoo. I like being able to change up my look too much to get something so permanent. (P.S. Is drawing in Sharpie on yourself bad for you? Whatever, it’s too late. Ok bye.)

2. Watch videos of other people getting pierced
It’s totally savage, but seeing the process before I took the plunge helped me SO. MUCH. Without further ado, here’s Brittany Balyn’s vlog of her septum piercing, which I’ve watched about a hundred times.

3. Prepare for the time commitment
Ugghhhhhh, responsibility is SO STUPID and I hate it. But, lemme tell you about the healing process so you can decide whether or not you wanna do it or not. Not to be dramatic, but if you don’t take care of your piercing, your nose WILL FALL OFF AND YOU MIGHT DIE (this statement has not been approved by any doctors and I have zero proof if it’s the truth).

No matter where you get your new nose hole, you will have to wear a bull-ring for the first 4-6 weeks of healing. The amazing woman who pierced me explained that the open jewelry prevents damage as your skin expands and contracts, especially while you sleep.

BONUS VIDEO OF MY PIERCING, SWIPE RIGHT.

At first, I wasn’t a fan of the bull lewk, but it grew on me. Plus, if you need to hide your new piercing from, say, your parents who are in town and might cry if they see you’ve gotten yet another hole poked in your skin, you can *whoop* flip the hoop up into your nostrils.

The other time-intensive part of le healing process is how much cleaning is involved. You have to swab foul smelling cleaner UP YOUR NOSE morning and night. I also carried around a small spray bottle of a tea tree concoction that I sprayed UP MY NOSE every time the piercing itched. All of this dedication was worth it, though, because I avoided that weird ball of fat the sometimes shows up around piercings – whew! I am sooo responsible, omg.

One last thing …
Before you scurry off to your nearest tattoo parlor to get a needle through your nostrils, I should probably tell you the true secret to my septum piercing decision making process, even though I’m a little embarrassed about it.

I was drunk as a skunk when I got it done.

Yes, I’d done the research, and yes, I was sure I wanted it. BUT I didn’t go all in until I was at an event that happened to take place in a fabulous, all-female run tattoo and piercing paradise called Earth Altar Studio.

We drank two or four glasses of rosé, and the next thing I knew, I was holding other women’s hands as they got the piercings they’d been too scared to get while sober. The energy was intense, my babies. I cheered on so many other people as they got their piercings that I started to feel extra EXTRA brave. When I woke up the next morning, I had a headache and a nose ring, and I was pretty pleased about one of those things.

This is the only alteration I’ve ever made to my body while under the influence of alcohol (unless you count eating half a pizza by myself in a stairwell after the first time I tried Four Loko), and I don’t necessarily recommend it.

You do you, and if you want to share a photo of your new septum piercing with me, tag me on instagram! @itsthecwolf

Ok, love you byeeee!

Wellbeing

Switching to Natural Deodorant? Here’s What Works

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Since I shared my natural deodorant *journey* with you all, so many people have asked what kind of anti-smell sticks I like to rub on my pits.

WELL. I’ve tried way too many brands, but I’ve only found five that actually work. For the record, this list is being compiled by someone who survived the B.O. phase of switching to natural deodorant. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you should check out the video above.) So, if you’re just starting to ditch anti-perspirants, I can’t promise that these products will work for you right away.

1. Bunny Butt Apothecary
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This deodorant is life-changing. I always come back to Bunny Butt’s “The Pits” deodorant, mostly because they all smell delicious. My top two scents are Sucre Bleu and Birthday Cake (yes, it smells exactly how you’re imagining), and it’s a relief to know this clear gel formula is made with essential oils and not, like, the tears of baby otters.

2. Schmidt’s
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Schmidt’s might be the biggest natural deodorant brand out there right now. Like, you can buy it at Targét. My only ish with the company is that it seems like some of the flavors work better than others. I highly recommend the Rose+Vanilla scent – it’s very floral and sweet, but fades away as the day goes on so you don’t feel like a giant walking flower garden.

For my goth fashionistas out there, steer away from Schmidt’s. Its consistency is chalky, so it might end up leaving tracks on your favorite black get ups.

3. Crystal Deodorant
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Yes, this is an actual crystal you rub under your arms. What a time to be alive. There’s a little bit of finesse required to this product: to activate the anti-bacterial properties, you have to hold the stick under some water before applying. The secret to getting this to actually do something, rather than leave you sweaty and reeking of billy goat during your 11 a.m. meeting, is to RUB RUB RUB. Once you feel like you’ve over-applied, rub on a tad bit more.

Honestly, I think crystal deodorant is best for natural deodz pros. If you’re still at the start of your *journey* check out the Crystal Deodorant Roll-On. It’s already in liquid form, so no mad scientist-ing required.

4. Arm & Hammer
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This may not look like the hippie-dippiest health-conscious deodorant, but it WORKS. If you hate perfumed deods, definitely try Arm & Hammer, because they are serious about this clear gel being unscented. The main ingredient, baking soda, acts as a B.O. buster without bells and/or whistles. I’m literally shrugging as I write this – this deodorant is so simple, I don’t have anything else to say.

5. EO Spray Deodorant
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If you are the exact opposite of Arm & Hammer unscented fans and love smelling like a fresh herb garden of lavender, try this spray. It’s not as powerful as a stick or gel deodorant, so I keep this stuff in my gym bag to spritz on after I sweat. Lavender is hands down my favorite anti-anxiety aromatherapy, so j’adore this scent.

To be honest, I’ve never tried EO’s wipes, but I really want to.

If you try any of these deodorants out, please let me know! You can leave a comment, or write to me on Facebook or Instagram.

Ok. love you bye!